Click?? What’s this nonsense all about? I mean what button do we have to click??
How many times have you heard the dreaded line “oh we just didn’t click?”… what does that mean exactly and how would you explain it to your parents lol?
In the business world if one was to secure a big deal, you would do the due diligence right? You would take the client out for a meal, get to know them, find out their background, meet their partners, meet their employees, check credit history, check their online reputation , check out who they hang out with, find out their mission statement, goals and dreams, find out what the business stands for. Only when it seems legit and the relationship is there would you close the deal. If this is not done it could cause issues further down the line. Initially two business coming together could seem like the best thing in the world but we know those can fall flat on their face and end up in a messy situations and law suits. So all the research is done to minimise potential risk.
Meeting a partner is kind of the same thing, expect there is allot more emotion involved. And sometimes emotion can cloud and influence ones judgment. We hate to admit it but we ALL have a checklist that we mark a potential partner by, combined with elated emotional states can cause one to overlook or even underlook many aspects, values and qualities of the other person. We say we are not judgmental but then end up doing exactly that…
In the Sikh culture, in fact many cultures the age of marriage is way beyond what our parents generation where use to. Allot of people are getting married allot later in life. But as one gets older does this very fact then start to influence ones thoughts? Do we then start to become more relaxed with our checklist because we start to worry and the fear of not being married when all your friends are and have kids kicks in?
Initially we are young, our mind set is different and we want to have fun and enjoy life, then we get jobs and the pressure to get married is gently applied. So we then start to imagine our futures, we draw up an image of our ideal partner, our soul mate and go looking for this fictional character. When the image in our heads does not match the person in front of us we say things like “we did not click” and in reality the other person may have been so into you and given the chance could have been the ideal partner/soul mate for you, but due to our checklist that chance and opportunity is lost. (You yourself could be throwing away your soulmate.. think about that… SOUL = Source of unconditional love – Mate)
For some people the checklists matchs and we end up calling it love at first sight or we just clicked… but in reality this does not happen to everyone. Many people don’t click at first simply because they are just in different states of mind and if we are mentally in different places the chance of rapport are allot lower and hence no or lack of flow can make it seem this is not the person for me. In fact if you check and ask around how many people do actually say we just clicked? You will find it’s a ver low number.
On the flip side you have the open minded individuals who say “let me give this a chance, let see what happens, go with the flow”, so they explore and get to know the person then make an informed decision. Think about this, your best friends in life for example… where they just a ‘click’ or did that relationship have to be nurtured over time? In most cases your best friend is someone you have known for years and people you get along with are people you have built trust and a relationship overtime.
The check list is a limited thought process , it’s like Bruce Lee in enter the dragon staying to his student whilst pointing to the moon “Don’l look at the finger our you’ll miss the heavily glory’
Overtime you will become more relaxed with the list… so why limit your self in the first place?
Be open minded and flexible, give people a chance. The click is a Bollywood/Hollywood movie with which you have been heavily influenced. You don’t find readymade diamonds, they have to be polished and cut and shaped, we are all like diamonds in the rough, some of us may just need to be polished bit before we see the beauty. Give them a chance.