A lot of people are talking about this topic of Sikh girls not wanting keshdhari Sikh men (Turban/beards) as potential life partners to the extent where their matrimonial profiles clearly state this – must be clean shaven.
- Is this an increasing trend of current times?
- Are sardar ji’s so bad that sikh women prefer not to go for keshdhari sikh men?
- or is it just a small percentage of people who have experienced this issue?
- Are keshdhari Sikh men generalised by Sikh women to be “too strict” or seen as fundamentalists hence fearing what they may be like?
- Is there misconception around keshdhari sikh men?
- Does shaving the beard make the person any different/better/less better?
What do you think?
It can be argued that it’s a matter of preference. But really what is the comparative or preference based on? Are we saying on a subconscious level that keshdhari men are not attractive in comparison to clean shaven? or is it just that people have had odd experiences with the small groups of keshdhari people who don’t live up to sikh values hence giving all other keshdhari a bad name?
The history of Sikhi is massively linked to one’s hair and it’s importance in Sikhi as well as its spiritual connection. We would not be here without it.
It’s an interesting topic because all this creates is a superficial mind set which is based on preference or looking good (but what is looking good?) and/or people who say they are just not religious. We know the beard is coming into fashion so would more ladies be interested in this because its not fashionable?
People who think like this, are they superficial? or are they so removed from their Sikhi that they are just surface level sikhs by name and not by any sort of practice or belief?
In Sikhi keeping Kesh is one of the main requirements of following the path of Baba Nanak. Lets be honest, we do try to shortcut things with trimmed beards, etc.
Now this post is not about having a go at non keshdhari people because being a Sikh is so much more then that. But it’s about asking people to really think about the reasons they do things. If one is honest with one self then answering that question will be easier.
So why must he be clean shaven?
Giani Santa Singh Ji Maskeen in their book Shabad Guru Surat Dhun Chela explains beautifully the concept and difference between Sikh and Singh. It’s a highly recommended read and may open your eyes to Sikhi and its essence.
It’s actually quite honourable for keshdhari Sikh men to be keeping their Sikhi intact in todays time, It shows strength of character where the Turban means one can not hide but openly show the world that here is a Sikh of Baba Nanak and son/daughter of Guru Gobind singh ji … I’m hear to serve the world. Why would’t a Sikh woman want a strong person who can declare their faith openly and be brave to stand/stick our from the norm? (And please nothing negative is implied by this toward non keshdhari Sikhs.. “Under the heavens we are one family” – paraphrasing Bruce Lee)
On the other side there are many Sikh women who only want keshdhari Sikh men. So, is there a lack of connections to help people looking to get married resolve this gap, which seems to be the topic of discussion amongst many Sikh men?
- What are you thoughts on this?
- And what could be done to help the community connect people to like minded individuals?